A Mother's Balancing Act

Rihanna, Don't Do It

Aside from the obvious knee-jerk response of my headline above, I find myself contemplating Rihanna's recent reconciliation with batterer Chris Brown disheartening on so many levels. Many of you know that I serve on a coalition for a local domestic violence shelter for women and their children. The primary purpose of our group is to raise awareness about domestic abuse in an effort to stop the abuse before it even happens. Education results in prevention. It's been proven time and again.

Until this week, I hadn't realized that little kids (like 4 and 5 year olds) are talking about this incident on playgrounds. No, I am not exaggerating. They have heard about this from their older siblings, in after school care, day care and when the news is on. Perhaps they've even overheard their parents talking about it over a nice glass of wine.

The point is, little kids know that their hero from Nickelodeon and Sesame Street (yes, Chris Brown has made numerous appearances on Sesame Street) beat up his girlfriend. And now, as if that wasn't bad enough, Rihanna has taken him back.

The message to the kids out there?

It's OK to beat up your girlfriend as long as you're sorry you did it afterward.

As a celebrity, Rihanna had (and perhaps even still does if she wakes up and kicks Brown's butt to the curb), the opportunity to make a huge impact on young people in our society -- both male and female. I know she's practically still a kid herself, but in taking Brown back, Rihanna just set us back about 25 years on the domestic violence awareness campaign.

Rihanna, dump that sorry sleazbag, and move on. No one deserves to be hit. And he didn't do it once or even twice. He beat the living daylights out of you.

Kick him to the curb. Today.

And parents? Talk to your kids. They know more than you think. And less than you think. Check out the resources below for some conversation starters. You'll be glad you did.

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

Some Resources that May Be Useful to You:

Tips for Parents

How To Talk To Your Children About Healthy Relationships Handbook

Resources For Parents

How To Talk To Your Teens Handbook

Teen Dating Violence Survey Results

Communicating with Teens About Dating Violence

And check out my writing partner over at White Trash Mom's post on this same subject. Michelle has some great links to awesome info.

Women Drivers...Are We Really This Bad?

This is a hilarious video. Had to share.  Download FemaleDrivers

As my cousin who sent this to me noted, I have nothing against women drivers. Some of my closest friends are also women drivers. =) I also happen to know some men (who shall remain nameless...you know who you are...ahem) who have every bit as much trouble parking as the one gal in the video here. OK, well, maybe not every bit as much but far more than the average bear...

Clearly, these are very rare examples of what can happen, to anyone, really, in man-made machinery.

Perhaps the drivers were drinking their coffee while driving? Or perhaps they simply just have teenagers? That really can explain a lot if you ask me.

Cheers,

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

Creepy Guys Suck!

That's right. The title of this post pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. Creepy guys give the rest of the good guys - like my BSM (that's Big Strong Man for those of you just joining us...) - a bad rep.

I was doing some shopping yesterday outside of the pristine suburban (no, not so very plastic, thank you very much!) bubble that we live in. My girls need costumes for a party this weekend, so I thought that perhaps, the thrift stores might be just the ticket for an old prom dress or some such thing. Normally, this type of shopping trip wouldn't phase me at all. In fact, I find them to be a challenge.

I had gone to an client appointment in the morning, even though I had the day off, so I was dressed in a nice skirt, blouse and cardigan sweater. I had on some of my favorite, newer peep-toe shoes with a kitten heel, but I have to say, "peep-toe's" are not an invitation to every weirdo crackpot in the city to come on to me. Um, yeah...but I digress...

So, I had already endured leering eyes from yucky guys in two thrift stores when I came upon a Big Lots. The one in our neighborhood recently went out of business, so I decided to pop in. Long story short, a creepy dude proceeded to tail me, make eyes at me every chance he got and tail me through the store the entire time I was there. To the point that he sufficiently freaked my crud out. After he slinked onto the aisle I was on (after I had zigged and zagged a couple of times to shake loose of him) yet again, I got fed up and headed to the checkout with my shopping cart. The whole time, he never had a cart or any products in his hands.

When I got to checkout, I calmly told the cashier about my experience and asked if there was someone who might escort me to my car. I told her I just thought you needed to trust your instinct in these situations. She nodded appreciatively and immediately called a guy up to her register to help me to my car. I had been thinking of the self-defense class my daughters and I had taken where they said to never have both of your hands full when walking in a parking lot. Within moments of me relaying my story, Creepy Dude slinked up behind me (one of 3 registers available at the time), and I quietly let the cashier know that he was "the one". He was now carrying a large metal spoon and some other small item. The nice gentleman carried my items to my car for me as I told him of my experience in their store and that they might want to watch out for that guy who was coming out behind us.

The store employee told me he'd be watching until I got out of the lot, etc. Creepy Dude came out of the store and stood there and watched us the whole time. Then, he headed to a bicycle that was parked in front of the store.

Perhaps, he was just mentally ill. Or perhaps, he was going to just leave his bike there and force me into my car to violate me or even just steal my car.

I don't know. Any way around it...

Creepy guys suck.

Balanced Babe - (aka Molly Wendland)

Note: For a look at my oh-so-sexy peep-toe's, click here. They're the ones in the middle of the shot of three pairs. And yes, I do kind of have a little bit of a fetish. Sort of like the chick in the book to movie "In Her Shoes". I don't always even wear them. Fun movie, by the way. Even better book!

Extra note after the fact: I've been laughing when I tell this story to my friends. You know, how I attract the best-looking 50 year old guys with comb-over's of anyone I know and stuff like that? So, it's funny now, but this Creeper really did freak me out, and I was afraid to walk to my car alone...in broad daylight. And that does suck. In particular as a mother of two teenage daughters and an advocate for domestic violence awareness, it really pisses me off. Women shouldn't have to be afraid. It just sucks.

Dude, You Forgot Your Coffee

So, I guess it's not written anywhere that you have to order something when you go to a coffee joint, right? I'm sitting here in my favorite coffee haunt, in my favorite comfy chair, next to my favorite shelf of books (used books for sale in a coffee shop - how cool is that?).

The music is playing softly, the sun is streaming through the window over my shoulder as I type. There are four other adults and a baby in here. At least, there were four other adults (plus the two barristas). Then, a guy walked in, picked up several pieces of the paper laying on a table next to me, and took the comfy chair next to mine.

No coffee.

No latte.

No frappe.

No chai.

No nada.

He's been sitting and reading the paper now for about 15 minutes.

Whoa!

The guy just left. Took off in his SUV. Never ordered a thing.

Weird.

Dude. You forgot your coffee.

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

A Mother's Angst

Ah, the teen years...shopping, movies, going steady, staying up late chatting with your girlfriends, cruising Main Street, going to the "Big Game" and "The Dance"...

OK, who am I kidding? Yes, there's time for socializing, but my kids' lives are filling me with angst. It's more like this:

• Homework
• Studying for the "Big Test"
• Working on the group project
• Staying up late texting about who's responsible for what on the group project
• Cruising Wal-Mart late at night, panicked, searching for that last minute item for the "Big Project"
• Doing the dance between needing sleep and needing to study more for the "Big Test" in AP Chemistry

Is it just me, or has high school gotten out of hand? One of our daughters is involved in sports, and the other is not, but both are in honors classes. And both are outrageously busy. When does a kid have time to be a kid? A teen have time to be a teen? Yes, we want them to be prepared for college. Yes, we want them to do well on college entrance exams and hopefully get good scholarships to good schools. Yes, we want them to be well-rounded.

I pray for guidance every day. As I sit here mulling it over, sipping my coffee, It just seems to me that there isn't enough time for them to be kids. Is it just me? They're such good kids. They're really not even complaining, but their teen years are flying by so fast without them even realizing it. Perhaps it's just me, and I'm just getting old...perhaps that's it.

Perhaps.

Balanced Babe (AKA Molly Wendland)

Waxing Poetic (sort of ) re: the Holidays...

About this time of the season, most of us are just about ready to hang up our holiday cheer for another year...

• Some of us would (secretly?) like to drop the kids off a little early back at school - like today...even though it doesn't start again until Monday.
• The cranberries in your "tasteful decor" have dried up and taken on a decidedly different look than when the season began, and they might have even begun to assume a certain pungent and not so pleasant aroma.
• Fido's once darling Hannukah "do" is now a mange of tangled fur and wrapping paper, and you wish you'd never let that cloying groomer talk you into all those fussy bows and bells. What were you thinking?
• Your homemade Christmas toffee tradition has caused the family to gain a collective 50 pounds, and there's still another tubful in the garage - who do you think you are - Giada?
• The house looks like it's been ridden hard and put up wet, thank you. And if your eldest asks you one more time what she can have for lunch, you just might have to remind her (one more time...) that there are kids (in Zimbabwe, China, Pakistan...) who don't even have refrigerators to stand in front of for half an hour to contemplate that deceision...
• Could we go just one day without the dog eating something she's not supposed to and vomiting - on my leg - and favorite shoes?
• Is there ever going to be a day when there isn't laundry to be done?
• And could my extended family go one round of holidays without having the plague whip through? Seriously, you'd think my sister's family all drank caster oil or something!
• And this last, do you think I could have a party without Mother Nature "blessing us" with snow or ice on the day of the party? How about next week for book club, please? Please?

In spite of it all, however, I find myself waxing poetic. Yep. Call me crazy. In fact, I'm trying to decide whether I should be taking all of my decorations down this weekend or waiting one more, so we can enjoy them one last time next Thursday at book club. What do you think?

So, here's what crazy me is going to miss:

• The sweet scent of my Frasier Fir tree
• Eggnog
• Time spent with family (well, most of it anyway!)
• Eating out
• Eating period!
• Going out for coffee with friends
• Baking (yes, I really do enjoy that unlike my White Trash counterpart over at White Trash Mom!...)
• Sitting in the living room with all the lights out except those on my Christmas tree...transcendental experience, I'm telling you!

• Time off work!

Ah, well, that's the holidays for you. They must come to an end. I kinda' go through the post holiday blues every year. Well, my Big Strong Man calls it my winter blues. In any case, Happy New Year to all of you. We actually had a pretty rough couple of months, healthwise, with one of our kids to round out 2008. With that said, I wish you peace and health in the new year, and May 2009 bring all that you are hoping for.

Balanced Babe - Molly Wendland

Back from the Depths...

Hello to all in cyberspace. Yes, I'm back from the depths, and yes I apologize for the long hiatus. We've been going thru some serious medical issues with one of our girls, and it's been a rough time. I should have gotten guest posts started up, but it honestly didn't even occur to me at the time. Anyway, hopefully, some of you have kept checking back and will find me again.

With promises to be back with:

• interesting
• funny
• informative
• stupid
• random
• useless

stuff in the immediate future,

Balanced Babe (aka Molly Wendland)

"I Love Jesus, But I Drink a Little"

Have you seen this clip from the Ellen Degeneres show? I had to share it. Hilarious. Perfect for this time of year. And a perfect "pick-me-up" for the last week before Christmas when you think you can't go on. This old gal is a hoot!

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/ellen-gladys-hardy-p1.php?emf=1

 

Cookies, Cookies & More Cookies!

It's just about that time of year, folks. What better time, then, to direct you to one of my favorite sites? That of the awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping cookie wonder at www.Northpole.com, where you'll find literally 100's of favorites such as 7 Layer Cookies, No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies(Big Strong Man's fav...), Chocolate Mint Snowtop Cookies...Wow, I could go on forever!(What's new?) You'll really have to just dig in for yourselves. Save this post to your Favorites, or at the least, copy and paste the list below into a Word document, so you'll have the links forever! You'll be glad you did!

I throw a Christmas Cookie Exchange every year, so for me, this is one of the coolest things I have ever found! (I know...I'm a total dork, but at least I know it!) If you're no Martha Stewart, and let's face it, which one of us is, then check out this site! Baking cookies is a great way to spend time with your family. Frankly, most of these recipes are not difficult, so have at it. And have fun and Happy Baking! 

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)

1-2-3 Cookies 7 Layer Cookies Allie Nelson's Famous Snickerdoodle Cookies Almond Crescent Shortbread Amish Sugar Cookies Andies Candies Cookies Angel Crisps Angenets Applesauce Cookies Apricot Fold-Overs Aunt Edy's Molasses Crinkles Auntie Linda's Ginger Gems Bakeless Dream Cookies Banana Drop Cookies Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the World Biscotti Biscotti Blueberry Cookies Boiled Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies Bronwnies Brown Sugar Shortbread Brownie Cookies Brownie Delight Brownies Buccaneer Snowballs Buried Cherry Cookies Butter Cookies Butter Nut Balls Butterballs Butterscotch Haystacks C.O.P. Cookies Candy Cane Cookies Candy Cookies Caramel Shortbread Cheesecake Brownies Cherry Buns Cherry Crowns Cherry Winks Chewies Chewy Noels Chinese Chews/Haystacks Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars Chocolate Chip Cookies Chocolate Chip Meltaways Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies Chocolate Christmas Trees Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares Chocolate Crinkles Chocolate Mint Snow-Top Cookies Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (no bake) Chocolate Snowball Cookies Chocolate Streusel Bars Chocolate Sundae Cookies Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars Choco-Scotch Crunchies Choose A Cookie Dough Recipe Christmas Crackers Christmas Crunch Bars Christmas Ginger Snaps Christmas Macaroons Christmas Mice Cookies Christmas Shaped Cookies Church Window Cookies Coconut Cookies Congo Squares Cookie in a Jar Corn Flakes Cookies Cornflake Christmas Wreaths Cowboy Cookies (oatmeal) Cream Cheese Cookies with Apricot Filling Crème De Menthe Chocolate Squares Crème Wafers Crescent Cookies Crispy Crunchies Date Nut Balls Date-nut Pinwheel Cookies Diabetic Peanut Butter Cookies Disgustingly Rich Brownies Doodles Double chocolate chip cookies Double-Chocolate Crinkles Eatmore Cookies Eggnog Cookies Elizabeth's Sugar Cookies Elves Quick Fudge Brownies Emily Dickinson's Gingerbread Cookie Recipe Emily's Best Brownies Famous Oatmeal Cookies Firemen Cookies Fluffy Shortbread Cookies Forgotten Cookies Frosted Peanut Butter Brownies Fruit Cake Cookies Fruitcake Squares Fry Pan Cookies Gems Ginger Cookies Ginger Crinkles Gingerbread Baby Gingerbread Cookies with Butter Cream Icing Gingerbread Men Gingerbread Men Ginny's Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Glory's Golden Graham Squares Glory's Sugar Cookies Gramma Chapman's chocolate coconut drops Grandma Elsie's Zimt (cinnamon) Cookies Grandma J's Butter Cookies Grandma Olson's Parkay Cookies Great Grandmothers Sugar Cookies Gum Drop Cookies Gumdrop Gems Haystack Cookies Ho-Ho Bars Holiday Cereal Snaps Holiday Chocolate Butter Cookies Holiday Raisin Walnut Bars Holly Cookies Hungarian Cookies (Little Nut Rolls) Ice Box Cookies Irresistible Peanut Butter Cookies Italian Cookies Jacob's Peppermint Snowballs Jam Bars Jessica's Famous Brownies Jessie's Chocolate Chip Cookies Jubilee Jumbles Juliet's Peanut Butter Blossoms Jumbo Chocolate Chip Cookies Kentucky Colonels Kiefle (cream cheese cookies with jam filling) Kifflings Kiss Cookies Lacy Swedish Almond Wafers Lemon Angel Bar Cookies Lemon Bars Lemon Cake Cookies Lemon Cream Cheese Cookies Lemon Squares Linzer Tarts Log Cabin Cookies Luscious Lemon Squares M&M Cookies Magic Cookie Bars Melt in Your Mouth Cutout Sugar Cookies Melting Shortbread Meme's Cream Cheese Cookies Milk Chocolate Florentine Cookies Mincemeat Cookies Mincemeat Goodies Molasses Cookies Molasses Forest Cookies Molasses Sugar Cookies Mom Mom's Crescent Cookies Mom-Mom's Ginger Cookies Mom's Nutmeg Sugar Cookies Mom's Old Fashion "Puffy" Sugar Cookies Monster Cookies Moravian Christmas Cookies Nana's Famous Soft Southern Cookies Nitey Nite Cookies No Bake Chocolate Cookies No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No-Bake Cookies Norwegian Sugar Cookies Nut Balls Oatmeal Bars Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Nut Cookies Oatmeal Coconut Crisps Oatmeal Cookies Oatmeal Scotchies Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies Ooey Gooey Caramel Chocolate Dunk Ooey Gooey Squares Orange Slice Cookies Parking Lot Cookies Peanut Blossoms Peanut Butter Bars Peanut Butter Blossoms Peanut Butter Cereal Cookies Peanut Butter Chewies Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut butter fingers Peanut Butter Reindeer Peanut Butter Surprises Peanut Marshmallow Cookies Pecan Puff Cookies Peppermint Snowballs Peppernuts Persimmon Cookies Persimmon Cookies Petey's Yummy Spicy Almond Thins Pfeffernuesse Pffefferneuse Cookies Pineapple Filled Cookies Pizzelles Potato Chip Cookies Potato Flake Cookies Praline Cookies Praline Strips Pterodactyl Nests Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Chip Cookies Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies Pumpkin Cookies Queen Biscuits Quick Cookies Raised Sugar Cookies Raisin Filled Oatmeal Bars Raspberry Meringue Bars Really Peanutty Butter Cookies Reese`s Brownies Reese's Peanut Butter Bars Rich Flavor Christmas Cookies Rich Lemon Bars Ricotta Cheese Cookies Royal Almond Christmas Bars Rudolph Cinnamon Cookies Russian Tea Cookies Russian Teacakes Samantha & Kelsey's Chocolate Chip Cookies Sand Art Brownies Santa Claus Cookie Pops Santa Claus Cookies Santa's Butterscotch Melts Santa's Shorts Santa's Special Squares Scotch Cakes Scotch Shortbread Scotcharoos Scotcheroos Seven Layer Cookies Short Bread Cookies Shortbread Skor Squares Snicker Doodle Cookies Snickerdoodles Snickerdoodles Snow Balls Sour Cream Apple Squares Sour Cream Christmas Cookies Special K Cookies Spice Cookies Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Spritz Cookies Stained Glass Window Cookies Stir & Drop Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Swedish Pepparkakor (Pepper Cake) Cookies Swedish Sugar Cookies Sweet Marie's Swiss Treats Taralle (Italian Cookies) Tea Time Tassies Texas Brownies The Best Shortbread in The World Thumbprint Cookies Thumbprint Cookies Toffee Squares Traditional Christmas Sugar Cookies Traditional Gingerbread Men Cookies Triple-Chocolate Chip Cookies Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies Vanilla Waffer Balls Walnut Butter Cookies Walnut Crumb Bars White Chip Chocolate Cookies Wild Oatmeal Cookies Will's Famous Apple Jack Cookies Yummy Yummy Peanut Butter Blossoms

Arizona - Man - It's a Whole Different Universe!

I really should have posted this before the election. It would have been more timely, what with McCain being from Arizona and all. But in typical procrastinator's fashion, here I am...late. Again.

So, a few weeks ago, Big Strong Man and I traveled to McCain's home state for my cousin's wedding. The details are now not quite as fresh in my mind, so a few observations about the state in general will have to suffice:

• Speed limits (especially those posted on any highway) are merely a suggestion. Drive any speed you choose at any time. Double that sentiment for construction zones regardless of all of those temporary reproving signs, warning you that fines are double in construction zones. (If there really isn't any fining going on to begin with, then doubling that isn't going to have much of a consequence, now is it?!). I nearly got blown off the road when I slowed to the posted construction zone speed...silly outsider!

• Plan to keep your broom and dustpan handy at all times for sweeping up tarantulas at a moment's notice. Yes, I speak in utter deadpan sincerity on this topic.

• Lizards, lizards and more lizards.

• I so wish that I had photographed the gentleman, in full business attire mind you, and shades propped up on his head as if he'd just raced over from the office. There he was hammering away on an electric organ (complete with steel drum and string effects) when we happened into a convenience store on Interstate 10, driving from Phoenix to Tucson. What was the song, you ask? Rocky Top. (no, the link is not to the guy singing...it's just in case you don't know the song...) There was a sign on top of the organ that read, "The Crooners". That's all, nothing more. Had I not witnessed it with my own eyes and ears, I'm not sure I would have believed the story. I walked through the store, picking up my bottled water and some candy, suppressing my guffaw, listening to tune after tune. Live music at the convenience store. Who'da thunk it? Shoot fahr! When we got to the counter, sensing my impending laughter, the cashier pleaded, "Don't even ask me. I have no idea!" By then, we'd been regaled with Rocky Top, On the Road Again and several others which are now escaping me. BSM and I figured out that he was one member of a band from the nearby Casino. We were driving through an Indian reservation. Apparently, he was (literally?) trying to drum up some business. Stop by next time you're ambling through AZ.

• Keep a watchful eye on your small children if you are visiting the foothills of the mountains. Again, not kidding. Mountain lions. Eating children. In Arizona.

• Did I mention rattlesnakes? In gardens? (See photo above from my cousin's backyard.)

• You know how you see the signs for lost dogs all over the place? Not so in Arizona. In Tucson, it was "LOST GOAT: Reward". I nearly wrecked the rental over that one! At a major intersection, no less.

OK, so I've told you all the funny stuff. But I haven't yet mentioned the amazing sunsets, my hilarious and fun family (why do we wait so long between visits???), my gorgeous relatives' homes, the fabulous food we ate, the wonderful resort where we stayed (Westward Look) (my cousin's new wife secured a great rate!), the fact that it was cold at home but 90 degrees in AZ, and that the cost of living appeared to be similar to ours in the Midwest. Plus, my family even told me they loved the book! You gotta' love that White Trash Mom movement. It's everywhere! Even in Arizona!

Having said all of that, are we moving? Not on your sweet scorpion life!

Cheers,

Balanced Babe (Molly Wendland)